


Lonelyeyes And Their H̶o̶s̶t̶a̶g̶e̶ Valued Employee Visit Four Seasons Hotel Landscaping

by tickingclockheart



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Elias Bouchard Being a Bastard, Four Seasons Total Landscapping, Gen, Humor, Martin is so done, Poor Life Choices, Snark, election mentions, elias bouchard messed the fuck up, lonelyeyes are between divorces, oh god what have I done, poor employee, yhujihyghujhygtftgyhj
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:40:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27517777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tickingclockheart/pseuds/tickingclockheart
Summary: Elias schedules a three-day conference at Four Seasons.(Yes, the landscaping store between a sex shop and a crematorium)
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	Lonelyeyes And Their H̶o̶s̶t̶a̶g̶e̶ Valued Employee Visit Four Seasons Hotel Landscaping

**Author's Note:**

> i hate it here.

Rosie was sick. Now, this wasn’t common. Rosie never got sick; that woman was made of steel and rods, or she seemed it, until a few days had passed where Rosie had not been able to come to work due to a case of the flu. This inevitably had led, through one thing to another to another after that, to Elias, Peter and Martin, standing at the entrance to Four Seasons Total Landscaping, next to a sex shop and a crematorium.

Martin was numb at this point, choosing to drown out Peter and Elias’ bickering by reminiscing on the events that had brought them here.

 _We live in a world of fear gods. This might as well happen_ , Martin thought.

After Rosie had fallen through with the flu, Elias had been forced to pick up her slack, and for once, schedule things himself. There was a three-day conference for all heads and sponsors of all branches of the institute that happened every four years or so, and this time they had decided to have it in Pennsylvania, Four Seasons Hotel.

He had, evidently, failed.

“Yes, Peter I know it isn’t a hotel!” Elias gritted out, breaking Martin from his reverie.

Peter, chipper as ever, replied with. “Did you use your Beholding powers for that one, too?”

Elias scowled, preparing to make a (in his mind, clever) retort, and Martin sighed, resting his hand on his temple, before a voice came from in front of them. A worker, evidently, who was meant to show them to the parking lot, where the conference would be help.

“Um, hello. I’m Scott, I’m going to be taking you to the-”

Elias snapped before Scott could finish, and a feeling of being watched by a thousand eyes washed over them. Martin, already used to it, rolled his own eyes, but Peter, considerably more private, receded into the fog,

 _It’s a wonder they’re married_ , Martin thought.

“Your coworkers all know that you steal money from the cash register to give to your sick mother. They’re going to reveal the information-”

“Elias.” Martin hissed out, “He’s just trying to help.”

Elias glared, but stopped talking. Poor Scott was shaking, but he silently led them to the parking lot, where they had put a podium and a few tables. The place was – to be quite honest – dreary. The sky was dulled in a looming grey, and the concrete seemed to echo it in kind, making it look grimy and dirty. There were two or three cars at the far-left part of it, but the rest was left empty, save for the podium and the leaves that had fallen to the ground.

“Why’d you even have a podium? I thought this was a landscaping place?” Martin asked, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen.

“Oh-um. Some clowns used it.”

“Clowns?” Elias’ gaze sharpened. If the Circus of the Other was involved then-

“The, uh, the Republicans.” Scott said awkwardly, shifting.

Elias scowled. That was worse than the Circus.

After another long silence, Scott spoke up hesitantly. “The conference starts at 11:30, right? There’s not really much to do around here, besides the,” he gestured to his left, at Fantasy Island, Adult Bookstore, and then to his right, at Delaware Valley Cremation Center, “you know. Why not take a look around the shop?” It was clear from his tone that the boy had been asked to say that.

“Sure, why not. Elias, Peter, you stay here, yeah?” Martin looked back at the three – no, two people, since Peter was still hiding, like the socially awkward bastard he was – and decided he’d do anything to not have to hear the couple, recently between divorces (though who knew how long that would last), bicker on and on any longer.

Before Elias had a chance to protest, Martin was zipping inside, looking at various landscaping tools absentmindedly.

“Hell of a week, huh?” Scott said, conversing as he moved boxes.

“Mm.” Martin agreed, humming absently. “Something happen?”

“Besides the election? Yeah, a few things.” Scott set down a box, leaning against the counter of the reception desk, dark and dusty in the dim lights of the shop.

It smelled of some sort of mildew, and maybe…cheetos? He wondered where that came from, but then remembered that some Republicans had apparently been here sometime in the past, so it made sense.

“What kind of things?” Maybe it was the Beholding in him, but Martin did find himself a bit curious.

“Well, Putin’s resigning because Destiel became cannon. Oh! And that Ted Bundy roleplayer got called out.” Scott told him, adding on the last few words, almost as if an afterthought.

Martin paled. “Ex-excuse me? Did I hear that right?” He didn’t know what to say to that. It seemed like something out of a dream.

 _Americans_.

Scott nodded. “Where’ve you been? It’s been all everyone is talking about.”

“I. Um. Another dimension apparently.” Which wasn’t actually a lie, considering what the Lonely was, Martin decided. Peter would certainly agree.

Though he couldn’t imagine Peter getting involved with internet things, or most memes. The ones he occasionally sent Martin were all ones about minions, which the ship’s captain seemed almost uncannily amused by.

“Yeah, sure seems it. Anyway, what’s with your boss? He’s creepy as fuck.”

Martin snickered, then stopped when he felt the pull of all-too familiar, ever-seeing eyes on him once more. Scott had no such reservations.

“What the-what the fuck? What is that?” Scott gestured, referencing the feeling of being watched that had now began to fade, though not entirely, into the background.

“Um, nothing. It’s nothing, and you shouldn’t worry about it, I promise.” Martin said, making it very clear in his tone that if Elias tried something, Martin would make his life hell, at least until the three-day conference was over.

Scott looked skeptical, but nodded anyway, apparently not wanting to get involved. Martin didn’t blame him; he’d never wanted to get involved either. But here he was, at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, next to a sex shop and a crematorium.

“Now, um, do you have any metal pipes? I think Elias may be looking for a new one.”


End file.
